she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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