are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
