Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
