You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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