Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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