Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
40s are totally the cure
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
