have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
