I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
