We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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