It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
