is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
