That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
