i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
