I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
