We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
