you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
