Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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