There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
