You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
