just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
where are my eyebrows?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
