Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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