I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
