brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
