Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
