im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
why is half of my head shaved?
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