Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
