I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
