wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
