Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
