I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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