porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
