she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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