Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
