you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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