Sponge bath it is.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
