Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
