my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
