I feel great
I just peed on a car
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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