I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
