We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
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