You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
