at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
