Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
