i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she looked like the before picture.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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