this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
