Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
