My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
