I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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