I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
