with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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